1. Can Jim speak German?

Y) Ja
B) Nein
A) Bitte, wo ist die toileten?

2. Can Jim speak Spanish?

Y) Si
B) No
A) Si, aber nicht francais hablo, though.

3. Can Jim speak Japanese?

Y) Hai
B) Lie
A) O kudasai kori

4. Can Jim tie himself into a knot?

Y) No
B) Jim has no arms
A) Probably, but he'd only do it to impress girls.

5. Does Jim have a piranha in his aquarium?

Y) A
B) B
A) Both A and B

6. Does Jim's mother approve of his dates?

Y) No
B) He never brings them home
A) Worms don't have mothers, they reproduce asexually

7. Can Peter Puppy have a bite of your ice cream sandwich?

Y) Yes
B) No
A) Over my dead body

8. In a dogfight between the Spitfire and Harrier, who wins?

Y) The Spitfire
B) The Harrier
A) Flamin' Yawn can spit fire, but the Queen is harrier

9. How long is a piece of string?

Y) The same shape as something beige
B) Pi
A) By bus

10. How many legs does a shark have?

Y) As many as it wants
B) Don't be stupid
A) Tally ho

11. How do you compute the area of a circle?

Y) Pi R Squared
B) Pi are round, but Nick Jones is square
A) Ask your doctor

12. What is a paradox?

Y) Yes
B) No
A) I don't know

13. What Braodway musical is based on annelids?

Y) Wormlight Express
B) Worms
A) The Worm of the Opera

14. What is the Union Jack?

Y) My name's not Jack
B) Organized labor's tool for changing a flat tire
A) The British flag

15. Coal is to water as lightbulb is to:

Y) Water
B) Coal
A) Wet coal

16. If cigarrettes cause cancer, what causes Capricorn?

Y) Bad-fitting shoes in South France
B) Dental floss
A) One and a half pounds of butter

17. Hey kids, what time is it?

Y) Stop it
B) I can't stand it
A) Nick

18. Who's the king of animals in Africa?

Y) Marimba
B) Help, I Can't Swimba
A) Earthworm Jimba

19. What is the meaning of life?

Y) Ask Brian
B) 42
A) Forty-Two

20. Does misery love company?

Y) None of your biz
B) No, three is company
A) No, misery can't distinguish between a crush and true love